Longing for Istanbul: The Words I Haven’t Said Yet

Initially, travelling and then moving to Turkey allowed me to resist change, because without the comprehension and personal interactions fluency allows, it’s hard to properly engage with the people and the culture. When you’re only meeting with English-speaking Turks, everything you do and learn is mediated by the size of your shared vocabulary, experience and understanding. The longer I’ve lived here however, the better my Turkish has become and the more cultural practices I’ve absorbed, making it less possible to distance myself from the world I now call my own. In so doing I’ve had to open myself up to all the euphoria, complications, excitement and compromises of a typical relationship, only with a place rather than a person.